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been a while

So turns out this blog, which was supposed to be entirely comprised of lists, sort of strayed from its focus over its last two entries (though you might call my laughably inaccurate NFL mock draft a "list" of sorts), so in honor of my Evander Holyfield-like untriumphant and ill-advised return to the ring, so to speak, here's a new list.



R U D E   A N D / O R   A R R O G A N T   T H I N G S
I ' V E   S A I D   T O   G I R L S   T H I S   W E E K
W H I C H   H A V E   B E E N   M I S I N T E R P R E T E D
A S   M E   T R Y I N G   T O   B E   C H A R M I N G


1. "In a perfect world where I was me and you were somebody else..."
2. Her: "I like your shirt." Me: "Thanks, I like your watch." Her: "It's kind of boring." Me: "Yeah, but I was trying to return the compliment and I didn't like your clothes."
3. "Hey, you're smart. So at least you've got that going for you."
4. "I wish you would just stop talking for like 5 or 6...days."
5. "I can't hear what you're saying. All I'm hearing is this weird high-pitched bitching noise."



I know that was shorter than usual, but I'll try to be back soon with something more interesting. For now, chalk it up to it's late and I'm boring.

-L

NFL Mock Draft 2006

This is the first version of a mock NFL draft (first round only) for this coming year, which will be revised several times in the 3 weeks until the ACTUAL draft April 29th and 30th. This is something of a yearly tradition for me and I've gotten pretty decent at it, so we'll see how well (or poorly) I do this year, since this year's draft looks to be more unpredictable than any draft in recent memory. I also think there will be more trades at the top of the draft order this year than in any recent year (particularly with the Saints moving down from the #2 pick to the 4th, where they'll still get the same guy), but you can't really plan for that so let's for now just pretend that the order's set in stone and it is what it is for now.

Anyway, here's my first crack at it:

2006 NFL DRAFT:

1. Houston Texans: Reggie Bush, RB, USC
2. New Orleans Saints: Mario Williams, DE, NC State
3. Tennessee Titans: Matt Leinart, QB, USC
4. New York Jets: D'Brickashaw Ferguson, OT, Virginia
5. Green Bay Packers: A.J. Hawk, LB, Ohio State
6. San Francisco 49ers: Vernon Davis, TE, Maryland
7. Oakland Raiders: Haloti Ngata, DT, Oregon
8. Buffalo Bills: Winston Justice, OT, USC
9. Detroit Lions: Michael Huff, CB, Texas
10. Arizona Cardinals: Jay Cutler, QB, Vanderbilt
11. St. Louis Rams: Tye Hill, CB, Clemson
12. Cleveland Browns: Broderick Bunkley, DT, Florida State
13. Baltimore Ravens: Vince Young, QB, Texas
14. Philadelphia Eagles: Ernie Sims, LB, Florida State
15. Denver Broncos: Chad Jackson, WR, Florida
16. Miami Dolphins: Marcus McNeil, OT, Auburn
17. Minnesota Vikings: Jimmy Williams, CB, Virginia Tech
18. Dallas Cowboys: Donte Whitner, S, Ohio State
19. San Diego Chargers: Santonio Holmes, WR, Ohio State
20. Kansas City Chiefs: Mathias Kiwanuka, DE, Boston College
21. New England Patriots: Deangelo Williams, RB, Memphis
22. Denver Broncos: Antonio Cromartie, CB, Florida State
23. Tampa Bay Bucs: Eric Winston, OT, Miami
24. Cincinnati Bengals: Deuce Lutui, G, USC
25. New York Giants: Thomas Howard, LB, UTEP
26. Chicago Bears: Marcedes Lewis, TE, UCLA
27. Carolina Panthers: Lendale White, RB, USC
28. Jacksonville Jaguars: Chad Greenway, LB, Iowa
29. New York Jets: Kamerion Wimbley, LB, Florida State
30. Indianapolis Colts: Laurence Maroney, RB, Minnesota
31. Seattle Seahawks: Max Jean-Gilles, G, Georgia
32. Pittsburgh Steelers: Nick Mangold, C, Ohio State


I know none of you are as excited as me, but come on, I'm pumped about it. Hooray for draft time, my favorite time of the year!

not a list, a poem

This is for Jeanette, to return a favor, and to wish her well on her trip.


P O E M   F O R   J E A N E T T E

The year when I was young and lived alone,
I kept a garden behind the house I rented near the beach,
and planted only tomatoes and hyacinth.

I thought that maybe if one wouldn’t grow,
the other would, which was only one mistake I made.

I watered them every day, sometimes several times;
I stared at the soil and waited for them to break.
I watered again. Everything was damp and muddy.
There were no clouds, or too many. Nothing was right.

We think we know things, and we plant foolishly,
or drown what we have planted before it grows.

What I am trying to say, I think,
is that the heart is a half-finished instrument
and must often be left alone.

The heart, I have learned, wants only a warm room
and silence. It wants dim lights, or to hold
something worn in its small hands. A stone

that softens at any touch, no matter whose.

T H I N G S   I ' V E   R E F E R R E D   T O   T O D A Y
A S   " T H E   B E S T   _____   E V E R , "   F O L L O W E D
B Y   T H E   N O U N   T H A T   F I L L S   T H E   B L A N K

1. "Don't Dream It's Over" by Crowded House; song
2. Sonny's BBQ; restaurant
3. "I'm No Angel" by Gregg Allman; song
4. Dual-action fist pump; dance move
5. Grapefruit juice; beverage
6. "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap; song
7. Johnny Unitas; quarterback
8. Death Cab for Cutie, Fiver, and American Analog Set at Jackrabbit's in 1998; concert
9. Sharon Schmidt; mom
10. "Send Me an Angel" by Real Life; song

L I S T   O F   P O T E N T I A L
C A R E E R S   I ' M   C O N S I D E R I N G

1. Hairstylist
2. Retail salesperson
3. Professional consumer of Chipotle burritos
4. Sports agent
5. The guy who paints the end zones in football stadiums
6. Journalist
7. Hobo

A D J E C T I V E S   F O R   M Y   E V E N I N G

1. Discouraging